Authentic

I went to an awards ceremony recently and it struck me that everyone who I had seen in the media was older, fatter and shorter in real life than their profiles suggested. It wasn’t surprising; I would suggest almost every one of us who has even the slightest online presence curates their image more than ever, and the question is - whilst this isn’t new - does it matter?

A clear memory from studying history at secondary school was our teacher pointing out how formal Victorian photography was. He rightly suggested that this was because as a new technology, people took it seriously, understood that individual images were rare and a pose had to be kept still for a long time. Risking looking ‘natural’ wasn’t worth wasting the shot on and our ancestors concentrated on attempting a clear, recognisable and usually well-groomed image. Nothing has changed in that sense; a hundred years later, appearing on television meant being washed, brushed and made up into a presentable state and now online the trajectory continues. But the older I get, the more this game feels wearying and wasteful. It is obviously dishonest - arguably the minute you brush your hair you are being ‘dishonest’ - but at what point does it spill over from understandable and acceptable personal hygiene into harmful unreality?

Consider the fact that ‘tweakments’ (minor forms of plastic surgery such as botox injections, fillers etc) are now routine amongst those who can afford it and shockingly - even amongst twenty-somethings. However much we try and pretend otherwise, the real reason people do this is because they prefer to rage against the ‘disease’ of getting older. Oldness after all reinforces our sense of mortality and makes many women in particular feel less attractive and less in control. The major and glaring flaw in all of this however is that it doesn’t work. Firstly, any form of surgery - minor or otherwise - simply opens a can of worms that can never be closed. Once one ‘problem’ is addressed, another becomes more prominent, and so addiction starts. Secondly - whether you actually like the look of someone having ‘had work done’ or not - applying all this time and resources to try and halt the inevitable flow of ageing is tantamount to madness. It is Caligula-like in its insanity; trying to turn back the tide on maturing is like trying to stop a child growing, or the seasons changing. We can’t do it and to repeatedly try is an exercise in reinforcing failure and ultimately self-loathing. ‘But surely beauty treatments are merely a form of comforting treats and/or self-expression?’ I hear you say - and indeed they are, but there is a razor sharp line between joyful pampering and a distressing draining of energy.

It’s perhaps the energy draining that matters more than anything else. When we should be concentrating on enriching our lives in other ways, there are too many opportunities to edit thousands of selfies on our devices or stick pointless self-aggrandising videos on social media sites. Are any of us immune to this I wonder? Does the fact that I colour my hair make me a liar, artistic or just a bit vain? How old is the photo on that particular networking website? Should I change it now it’s seven years old? Can I take another that makes it look as if I am exactly the same age and preferably half a stone lighter? Will I still be doing all of this in my eighties? It’s exhausting just thinking about it.

And yet… are we now sensing a whiff of a backlash - often - but not exclusively - amongst advertisers? People are appearing on public platforms with uneven skin tones, hair in places we are no longer accustomed to seeing, variations in body shape and more visible appearances of the neuro and physically diverse. I’ve also noticed an increase in women appearing as their natural selves on social media sites - unmade up, sweaty, wearing gardening clothes or whatever. Is this some kind of reverse fashion statement, or have we finally reached the point where we can’t be arsed any more?

Either way, I say good. Because the real stupidity of all of this is I already know what makes me happy - blissful at times - and it is nothing to do with comparing images. Happiness appears in beautiful gardens, mountains, seasides and forests. Eating, drinking and spending time with family. Playing music, listening to music, thinking about music, a good book, a good film, travel. None of us need to look in the mirror to enjoy any of these things and perhaps that is what all those lovely, intelligent, bright people at the awards ceremony had finally worked out; ‘bollocks to trying to look like my social media image’ they were saying ‘I am a whole lot more interesting than that picture. Here’s who I am now - take it or leave it.’ Either that or they hadn’t been able to get to the hairdresser recently.

Uplifting music of the day: ‘Guess who I saw today’ by Samara Joy. Joy by name, joy by nature. Although this could have been put in the ‘contemplative’ category, listening to this beautiful but poignant song from someone so young has to be one of the most optimistic things to emerge in the music world of late.

Contemplative music of the day: ‘After Fajir’ by Ahmed Jamal. The sad death of this great pianist was announced a little while ago and this collaborative piece illustrates his commitment to Islam. I’m so glad I managed to see him over twenty years ago… if anything underlines the point that you should make the effort to see great musicians when you can, this is it. They are gone all too soon.