Dancing Queens

Like many people during this last year I have spent far too much time on social media, and hope that the gradual lifting of restrictions will equal a gradual reduction in screen time. I have found this online world eye-opening though; some of which has been enriching and some downright disturbing.

For those of you that have read some of these posts, you will be aware that I am a musician, a geeky music fan and a real, deep lover and supporter of the arts. What I hope is also obvious - though I have never explicitly stated it - is that I am a feminist. I assumed that any arguments surrounding this had disappeared decades ago and recent years have signalled the beginning of a new dawn for all - including women. I have found it upsetting therefore to observe the level of distress particularly in young women in recent months. Pandemic aside, many of their demons seem to be beyond what I would call ‘normal’ levels of unhappiness for under 30s. Here are some examples of what I mean:

• They believe themselves to be ugly

• They believe themselves to be worthless

• They may be aware that they are intelligent but don’t value this

• They have not just unreasonable but impossible expectations of themselves

• They have little or no reason to get up and seize the day

• They have nothing to look forward to and believe the world is doomed anyway

Aside from the fact that I am older than these women - and therefore I hope have the wisdom of age, I am not qualified to deal with all of this and do not pretend to be able to. But here are a few thoughts.

My musical heroines have always spoken to me on multiple levels; firstly on that gorgeous drunken level of other-worldliness. I love their sound worlds, their phrasing, their articulation, their spirituality. Their music has always been enough for me, but before I started writing this I got out some of my old album covers and looked at the pictures of these musical queens; Aretha Franklin, Jaqueline Du Pre, Ella Fitzgerald, Joni Mitchell, Kathryn Stott, Carol King….. the list goes on. Anyway, the thing that stares back at me, through their pictures and through their music is their honesty. Everyone of these women has recognised that the pursuit of their craft requires a straightforward mission; trying to be good at it. The feeling of trying to do something well is an end in itself. Of course, they needed to be paid and wouldn’t have reached the audiences they have if they hadn’t had success, but I love their simple goals; the need to keep going, the need to continue to get better. The joy of music is - of course - its never ending nature, its pursuit of nirvana. It is a journey on which you can have some wonderful adventures, but will always be reaching slightly beyond your level. Here’s the thing; if you are able to focus on Art, it puts everything else in perspective.

Perspective seems to be what is lacking in distressed younger women, and I don’t blame them. Technology - like most progress - has had some wonderful gifts and some terrible downsides - one of which is a skewed view of your environment. We all look at ourselves too much; we can’t help it. Despite my efforts at having very few mirrors in the house, and only flattering ones (it works, honestly) I am confronted with my own image every time I have an online meeting, or post a picture, or have to check a video. Not only is it unnatural, it is unhealthy to scrutinise yourself that much and inevitably leads to a degree of narcissism. If you don’t believe me, then ask a plastic surgeon; I gather enquiries for having work done has increased exponentially since the pandemic. Also, this infinite library of information online has led to overload. Not only are we over-stimulated, we are over-anxious, over-informed, over-connected. There is always going to be someone cleverer, prettier, poorer, sadder, better informed, more deserving of attention and the online world exacerbates that. I was lucky in that I didn’t grow up in the digital world and I now see my naivety at that time as a blessing. Don’t get me wrong, I don’t see my ‘era’ as being a golden world; there has been far too much of that nostalgic nonsense recently and it is bollocks, inaccurate and backward looking. But we did have a freedom that I don’t detect as much anymore; we wore little or no make-up, knew nothing whatever about cosmetic surgery (‘what do you want to get your tits stuffed for?’), drank pints, walked everywhere and mostly pursued the things that interested us - without a sense of mission about it. The online world has given too many of us a sense that we must have a noble purpose in life, a need to change the planet and ‘make a difference.’ There is nothing in itself wrong with this, but not all of us can be super heroes, brilliant creatives or have abnormal body-types. My mother and grandmother would have been mystified by this - for them, putting one foot in front of the other, and if you were musical, playing and singing nicely was more than enough.

My current favourite women who play and sing ‘nicely,’ (oh, so much more than this!) our jazz queens from these islands are Claire Martin, Jaqui Dankworth, Liane Carroll. They seem to get to the kernel of everything I love about music - how to shape a phrase, how to sing with a beautiful tone and how to respond to the other musicians. They also have this integrity and at times unbridled joy in their execution. Check out Claire for the smile in her voice, Jackie for her unbelievable purity of tone and Liane for her badass singing and piano playing. They all have soul, they all have musicality and they all have such honesty. They don’t leave me wanting to dance, they leave me flying.

Uplifting music of the day: ‘That Old Black Magic’ - Arlen/Mercer - as performed by Liane Carroll on her ‘Standard Issue’ album. Ever felt like shouting out with joy because the sound is so fabby? Liane does this to me when she sings and plays - live or otherwise. Listen and love.

And secondly….. because I wanted to mention tracks from my three jazz queens, have a listen to Claire Martin singing ‘Hi Lily, Hi Lo’ on Martin Taylor’s ‘Spirit of Django’ album. Claire has such a lovely smokey warmth to her voice, and this track is a wonderful example.

Contemplative music of the day: ‘My Ship’ - as sung by Jaqui Dankworth on her album ‘As the sun shines down on me.’ I know I have selected this piece before because it is one of my favourite ballads ever, but the treatment Jaqui gives it is sublime. Her crystalline vocals are beautiful on every song - but I think I love this one best.

PS. As stated earlier, I am not qualified to talk about mental illness and anyway, this is too big a topic to deal with in one post; I will touch on it in many writings and can only express opinions based on experience rather than scientific research. I did however want to say one other thing about bringing about that sense of well-being (apart from the pursuit of musical activities) that lifts us up. Get out more! My friends will laughingly take the piss out of how obsessed I am with ‘the green gym’ and walking in the fresh air. I have made my children - ever since they were babies - get outside in all weathers for walking, cycling, running. I honestly think it is life-changing, and maybe even life saving. We have not evolved the ability to live a life indoors and to ignore our most fundamental of instincts - to spend time in green spaces - is to ignore our most basic of needs. Anything from twenty minutes to several hours is worth it. Please give it a go.