Indispensable

My Dad died a few years ago, and although he didn’t get everything about parenting right, there were the odd things that he said (and indeed lived) that have stayed with me. As a young man, he was in the army where the message of being individually unimportant struck him forcefully. He understood that a soldier was a mere cog in the machine, that teamwork was important, hierarchy and the rule of law mattered and also - perhaps brutally but nevertheless crucially - you were dispensable. None of this I remember him specifically saying, but certainly a sense of that lodged deep in my psyche early on. Musically speaking, these messages have been useful but harsh, not universally accurate or applicable, but at times liberating - freeing actually. Unfortunately recent news stories have proved that the message of dispensability hasn’t reached many, particularly rather depressingly in the world of arts and entertainment.

If we look at the appalling behaviour that has come to light regarding some men in the arts and media, we need to ask ourselves why this happens over and over again. Some will say that men are ‘programmed’ to behave like this; they can’t help their aggression, their bullying and/or abuse of women. This is obviously bollocks, but it is worth noting that our institutions have allowed this kind of toxic masculinity to proliferate. I have seen sycophants surround certain creatives, encouraging the seeds of offensiveness to grow. Far from being coaxed into behaving decently, professionally and with humility, these personalities are often applauded for shocking and unacceptable behaviour. In short, through repeated encouragement they start to believe their own publicity and indispensability.

As long as I can remember in the arts world there have been ‘auras’ around certain individuals, those who have undoubted charisma, some talent and often an awful lot of bullshit. It goes with the territory to some extent, and I have to say I have sniffed it off men far more than women. Bear with me however because this is not intended to be a male slagathon - more an observation about what happens when the odds are stacked unevenly.

Most of us behave within the boundaries that society sets, and this combined with our personal attributes, ambition, aspiration and so forth shape our personalities and expectations. Particularly in the UK I gather, very few of us venture outside of our socio-economic group (which shockingly is likely to be fixed at birth and remains so) and we play the cards that life deals us accordingly. So far, so predictable. But consider what happens if you are brought up in a world of entitlement, where fortune is so deeply ingrained, it doesn’t occur to you that any other state of existence is likely or possible. Most of us don’t think about our life odds very often, we put one foot in front of the other and assume somewhere deep down that if we are lucky we probably deserve it. Consider what happens therefore if the odds are so heavily stacked in your favour, the flames of egomania are fanned because of ‘artistic temperament.’ What do you become if you don’t cook, shop, iron, let alone organise household affairs, keep yourself healthy and stick to schedules without being helped? So it has been for men - particularly of my father’s generation - forever.

It was these men of my father’s generation that were the conductors of my youth and it was glaringly obvious that their privileges had been breathed in and reinforced repeatedly. It seemed standard to behave with ‘passionate,’ temperamental, and in some cases criminal behaviour. Bullying was expected, many youth and professional musicians were routinely humiliated and upset. Of those who survived this abuse, the message was rammed home that this was the way ‘great’ men were and if you couldn’t handle it you should get out of the profession. Even some of the great musical heroes disappointed on this front. Whilst I am a huge fan, I was shocked but not surprised to read in Bernstein’s biographies that he was absolutely thoroughly and utterly spoilt for most of his life. Sure, he was a genius - an inspirational and brilliant musician, but as one of his biographers said - could ‘barely fix himself a cup of coffee.’ Why? Because he was allowed to be so. Pretty much every conductor and/or composer I can think of seemed to fall into a similar category; ‘don’t worry about that - you concentrate on being a diva’ - would be the repeated message. Pop biographies will come up with comparable narratives. It is inevitable therefore that after a while humans will behave badly under those circumstances. At their most extreme they will become stark ravingly evilly bonkers - like Caligula, Stalin, Hitler and others. But even at the humbler end, people will forget simple etiquette and concern for others if not reminded. Why should we expect otherwise if the system they live in repeatedly reinforces it?

So it is that systems and codes of conduct matter. If the boundaries are clear, individuals are far less likely to act with thoughtless and selfish behaviour - no matter whether they are in the arts or any other profession. I simply won’t have it that shitty people ‘can’t’ function normally and with decency because they’re too creative; every one of us has to learn life lessons after all. Most women have already done this. Why else have they seemingly not reached the great artistic heights that men have, why not evidence of as many great poets, painters, musicians, prophets and spiritual leaders? I think we know the answer; they haven’t had time. They’re too busy fixing the mess that narcissists have left behind.

Uplifting music of the day: ‘Rucu Rucu a Santa Clara’ by Irakere. I had the very great privilege of writing about this incredible group recently, and listening back to this brought back the most happy - almost ecstatic memories. Literally the best band I have ever seen, playing saying some of the most uplifting music I’ve ever heard.

Contemplative music of the day: ‘Let’s face the music and dance’ - as performed by Diana Krall on her ‘When I look in your eyes’ album. Until recently I hadn’t listened to this record for about ten years and what an absolute treasure trove it is. It is classily produced by Tommy LiPuma and is saturated with fantastic players, topped with sultry vocals and a lovely pianistic touch by DK.

Book: ‘The Enchanted April’ by Elizabeth von Arnim. This is such a delicious book - particularly lovely for a holiday. Apparently E M Forster lived with E vA for a while and I can hear how he was influenced by her. But the point is this is an enchanting book - set at the beginning of the twentieth century about a group of women who end up on holiday together in Italy. It’s every bit as charming as you would imagine and it’s exactly the sort of drama you would expect to see a Maggie Smith or Judy Dench in. Warming and pretty.