Successful Sixteens?

Our oldest is in the middle of his GCSEs at the moment and it has been interesting watching him - decades since Big C and I took our first public exams - to see if he manages better than we did.

My first impression is that sixteen year olds haven’t evolved into anything more sophisticated than we were; they are still at that awkward place somewhere between a child and a young adult with all the contradictions that brings, still fundamentally bored shitless when faced with the prospect of revising all day, staring at the walls, inventing excuses to come downstairs and consume enormous snacks, eventually emerging (rightly) for some exercise having probably done about ten minutes worth of actual useful work. It is however the system we have, and probably the real lesson to be taken from it is how to cope with the psychology and dreariness of it. Managing tedium after all is an important exercise for life, as are meeting targets, behaving appropriately in exam conditions, controlling timed objectives etc. That said, I have been impressed with how the adults surrounding our kids seem to care more. My experience of year 11 (fifth year as it was then) was that we were very much left to our own devices; we left school at around Easter and that was it - forever - or until we returned to the sixth form. There were no revision guides, no top up lessons, obviously no online resources, no chasing if work wasn’t handed in (for one subject I didn’t even possess an exercise book). We were left to sink or swim, and frankly many parents had the same attitude; I am certain mine had little idea of what my subjects were and definitely no sense of what might be useful exams to support A levels. The culture at the time was of being allowed to make your own mistakes - and often suffer the consequences. Whilst this isn’t necessarily all bad, it pleases me to see the extra work that staff (in an ordinary, large comprehensive school) are undertaking to try and bring the best out in the students. Of course they aren’t universally successful; there are all sorts of other factors that contribute to a child’s potential - and an appalling lack of funding in state education is always going to be an upward battle. But I have been impressed with the effort, care and sometimes kindness extended towards the kids.

Has the culture of kindness transferred to parenting? I think it has. Big C and I (and lots of other parents we know) have attempted to find that sweet spot between encouragement, aspiration and perspective - because (whisper it) we know GCSEs aren’t that important in the great scheme of things. I’m not boasting by the way; our own parents had a myriad of other priorities and hurdles - not least of which was bringing up far larger families. They were also younger, less well resourced and had no professional experience in education. We and our peers on the other hand produced our children significantly later, had more life choices, far more varied opportunities and far more time to think.

That thinking has led me to be certain of one thing - which is the importance of the arts in the development of a child. You would expect me to say this; I am never going to give up on the message that music (ideally learning an instrument - but even regular singing has benefits) is profoundly important - not just in brain function but in what defines us as human. The points below were posted by me a couple of years ago, but just in case anyone needs reminding, here are some of the benefits:

• The learning of an instrument dramatically enhances a chid’s abstract thinking skills

• Music uniquely enhances brain functions required for mathematics, science and engineering

• Studying the piano before the age of seven can help boost the normal maturation of connections between motor and sensory regions of the brain

• Regular music activity improves a child’s IQ

• Children who have taken three years of piano instruction have significantly higher self-esteem than those who don’t

• Playing an instrument reduces stress and anxiety

• Learning to play an instrument requires patience, perseverance and discipline

• Collective music-making produces social cohesiveness and joy

• Playing an instrument teaches communication, listening and teamwork

I’m not making the above up; these advantages have been spelled out by researchers and scientists repeatedly and the results have either been ignored or pushed away in the name of cost. Believe me, I understand the cost; if Big C and I weren’t musicians our children would have had far less music in their lives. It’s also important to emphasise that we are not some kind of super-parents; we’re not academic, not high earners and not blessed with special skills other than music. I was conscious that we couldn’t offer our kids a second language (as opposed to some of my extended family), I am personally crap at maths and - although my own offspring are much better than me - I haven’t been able to help them with that. We also haven’t been in the income bracket where our children are widely travelled or privately educated. So the only thing we could offer them (apart from love and nurturing obviously) has been music - and it is this which I haven’t given them much choice about. Lots of you may call it harsh, but I liken it to children whose parents have integrated them into other parts of their lives - such as going to church, playing chess, eating ‘family’ foods with particular rituals attached, participating in certain sports. If they have moaned (and they certainly have), I have simply repeated the well-worn phrase “one day, you’ll thank me for this.” It would be nice to think that they are already consciously feeling the benefits; they are certainly aware that their skills are now considered exotic (not cool yet, but they need to be patient about that) and that the practice of musical public performance reduces the anxiety attached to other exams.

Will this affect their performance in GCSEs? Undoubtedly. It doesn’t turn them into academic geniuses, it doesn’t mean that their lives will run seamlessly, meeting all the targets placed in front of them. But it does mean that they understand that exams are only a small part of their lives, that there are other enriching experiences away from academia and that there is so much more to look forward to. Besides, they can always blow the arses off their brass instruments if they’re feeling frustrated.

Uplifting music of the day: - OK it’s a cliche but I love listening to Nat King Cole sing ‘Pick Yourself Up.’ It cannot fail to make you smile, particularly when you hear the interaction between Nat and George Shearing, and George’s delicate touch on the piano. Two of my favourite, tasty musicians.

Contemplative music of the day: - A bit of a cheat this, but if you have time then the whole of Ravel’s ‘Mother Goose’ Suite. If however you only have four and a half minutes, then the ‘Conversation between Beauty and the Beast’ is particularly lovely. I’m biased in that I love pretty much anything by Ravel; you can uncover layer after layer.